Blurred Lines

I have never been one for putting things in boxes. I thrive on chaos and clutter. As much as I have tried, I have never quite succeeded in accomplishing “organization” as far as a work space (much to my mom’s and now my husband’s disappointment). I suppose this kind of enjoyment for clutter transfers into my life as a reflection of the constant circus inside of my head. For those of you who don’t know, I am usually always thinking about something.

Frequently, I find that lines are blurred between my thinking of God, heaven, hell, goodness, mercy and justice– mixing in with thoughts of food, friends, The Hunger Games, good music, Hawaii, hopes, food, chocolate and food. This has always made me feel kind of bad, as if I am failing myself by mixing such “pure” thoughts such as goodness and mercy with things such as Diet Coke and pop culture. But, to put it simply, the lines are blurred. Before I know it, I am viewing everything with my spiritual glasses and things like rap songs, tv shows and nature all sing a different kind of melody. Its a song of hope, more than anything…sometimes of redemption…sometimes a good book or song can encapsule the real fears I struggle with myself. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I love this.

It’s Easter tomorrow, and while listening to one of my favorite bands this morning, I was inspired. Mumford & Sons, you have done it again.

Easter is usually some kind of marker, often going alongside of Spring Break, as the beginning of a new season. Flowers begin to push out of the ground, birds are chirping everywhere and the sun returns with its springtime warmth. Like the spring is welcomed, I am happy to welcome this new season in my own life. This season is one of reflection and rejoicing in both my life and in Ryan’s, too. For so long we’ve been consumed with answers…to everything: the water crisis, questions from every angle, our next physical location. This season, though, is so peaceful. We’re preparing for the future, but it is not consuming us. It seems the more and more we travel, the more we realize that its not the physical destination that is most concerning. The journey, it seems, means more. The spiritual unfolding is what matters most, as lines are once again blurred and we call out to know more. Like a flower stretching out to reach the Sun, we are pushing through to see the light. It is that light that gives us life. And, we can’t take our eyes away from it. After all, we want to know the depths God can take us. Don’t you?

With that, I hope that your Easter is wonderful. I sincerely hope your spring time season is full of reflecting on the beauty that encompasses your life.

 

Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine
Together we can see what we will find
Don’t leave me alone at this time,
For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

You told me that I would find a hole,
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal,
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek

It seems that all my bridges have been burned,
But, you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home 
that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the restart

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek
Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I seek

Stars hide your fires,
And these here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so, I’ll be found 
with my steak stuck in this ground
Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul
hide your fires,
these are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so, I’ll be found 
with my stake stuck in this ground
Marking its territory of this newly impassioned soul

But you, you’ve gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

–Mumford and Sons “Roll Away Your Stone”

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